Republican National Committee
The Republican National Committee has been sending voters a "2019 Congressional District Census." (NonDoc)

Melania Trump got the message, I reckon. Now this lifelong registered independent is getting letters from Ronna McDaniel, chairwoman of the Republican National Committee, and it makes me think they don’t know their rear end from a hole in the ground.

The first four-page epistle contained the “2019 Congressional District Census,” a thing in which I was selected to participate because of my “high level of political involvement.”

Meaning what? I vote whenever I have the chance? I take to the streets with torches and pitchforks? Good grief.

The “census” consists of five “sections,” the first of which is a “political profile,” giving the lie to Ms. McDaniel’s awareness of my “high level of political involvement.” (The RNC census asks: “Did you vote in the 2018 midterm elections?”)

The second section, “General Issues,” asks, among other things, if I think POTUS is leading us in the right or wrong direction, and whether I think “political correctness” has “gotten out of hand in America.” I don’t know, but it’s certainly gotten out of the White House.

Then come sections on domestic issues and national defense, the latter containing a couple of what are now embarrassing questions about POTUS and North Korea.

And then cometh section five, a solicitation for a “most generous contribution” of $25, $50, $100, $250, $500, $1,000, and my pledge to get POTUS’s “message” out to the masses. Once I have written my check, I am to put it and the “census” in the enclosed envelope and pay perfectly good postage to send it back.

Second verse, almost worse than the first

Too soon thereafter to suit me, Ms. McDaniel and the RNC sent me a “Census of Citizen Opinion,” wherein I am informed that POTUS “would love to know how you feel” about border security, although she did not mention a wall. It was only a three-page letter this time.

But the census itself asks, “Do you support President Trump’s decision to allow the Democrats to shut down part of the federal government in order to force them to address border security?”

Blah, blah, blah. The citizens’ census is merely an abbreviated version of the congressional district census, but it still asks me to support POTUS and send money. But this time, the plea maxes out at $500.

As if.

In all of her correspondence with me, Ms. McDaniel attempts to compel a response by making me feel guilty, because if I don’t send my completed forms post haste, a whole bunch of American voters won’t know what to do in 2020.

Yeah, I’ll bet.

In the end, perhaps the RNC has looked at my age, race and gender and concluded that I should be on Team Trump. Or it could be that one of my former university colleagues sent them my name and told them I am a Republican activist. Sort of a prank, you know. Psych!

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Back in the day, I still liked Ike.