HH: Rumbling, stumbling TD topples Tennessee; Nebraska AD achieves dumbassery

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If the world were run by college athletic directors, we’d all be bankrupt and writhing in ruin.

Last week, I discussed how college football coaches were being fired willy-nilly across the country, past successes be damned. I opined how coaches would do well to be armed with an ironclad contract whenever they wandered outside the confines of their offices or homes because athletic directors itch to fire them and try to make a splash in the coaching market.

I had no intention of making this week’s article a de facto companion piece, focused on athletic director stupidity. As I ate lunch on Thursday, though, I was greeted with news that Nebraska extended the contract of head football coach Matt Rhule. The extension adds two more years to a contract that already would not have expired until 2030. It also increases his salary in those final two seasons to a whopping $12.5 million.

All for a coach who was whooped by Minnesota two weeks ago, squeaked by Northwestern last week and had not beaten a top-25 team since he led Temple back in 2016. I mean, Nebraska OBVIOUSLY had to lock him up with a long-term deal. How else could the Cornhuskers’ administration prove the school is ready to compete with their Minnesota and Northwestern overlords than by showing fealty to a man with a 2-23 career record against ranked teams?

Gosh, I wish there were a “sarcasm font.”

Maybe the ‘Huskers were inspired by OU athletic director Joe Castiglione’s absolutely unnecessary two-year extension of head coach Brent Venables after a 10-3 season in 2023. What are the odds, right now, that Venables makes it through the 2029 season when his contract ends?

Anyway, it’s not just Nebraska athletic director Troy Dannen who has lost his mind. Seemingly all of his peers have zero common sense. They hand out hefty, long-term contracts, which are repeatedly broken after just two or three years. The busted contracts usually result in massive buyouts for the fired coaches, while the athletic director makes a new hire with an even BIGGER contract than the one before.

Rinse and repeat, ad nauseam.

Currently, the combined buyouts for all the coaches who have been fired just eight weeks into this college football season nears $170 million, almost all from public taxpayer-funded universities. It’s an amount that would fund SNAP programs for a month in, say, Louisiana, the same anti-hunger program currently gripped in uncertainty because of the government shutdown.

Of course, I didn’t bring up Louisiana by chance. That state has seen the latest college football coach contract/buyout fiasco unfold over the past week. Louisiana State fired Brian Kelly last weekend, only three-plus years after his splashy hire, with more than $50 million left on his contract. That’s a hefty sum that even sparked angry diatribes from the state’s governor.

Political grandstanding aside, LSU athletic director … umm, FORMER athletic director, I mean … Scott Woodward has become the poster child of AD dumbassery for good reason. Besides the wild contract promised to Kelly — whom Woodward hired after firing a coach who had won a national championship at LSU just two years prior — Woodward was also behind the hiring of Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M in 2018. Yes, that’s the same Fisher who was fired in 2023 and paid $77.5 million in his Texas A&M buyout, a record sum for such a deal in college athletics.

It means, between Fisher and Kelly, the two coaches are contractually guaranteed more than $130 million NOT to work for their respective universities. All thanks to Woodward.

I wonder about all the things the money from Woodward’s $130 million follies could help with nowadays. Oh wait, you don’t “win” press conferences and adulation from thousands of football fans by spending your department’s taxpayer-aided money on worthwhile causes. You certainly do, however, when you parade in front of a podium with a shiny, new coach in tow ready to lead the program to innumerable successes.

Or financial ruin. Whichever comes first.

It’s all hangover-worthy, much like the Hangover Highlights for this week:

• I admit, I’m confused about what to make of OU’s 33-27 win at Tennessee. The Sooners looked like the absolute physical manifestation of a fiasco in the first quarter Saturday, yet they trailed by just three points at its conclusion. The second quarter was only marginally better, but somehow the halftime score stood at 16-10 in Oklahoma’s favor.
• Credit Venables’ defense for adhering to the philosophy of “bend but don’t break.” Tennessee never punted in the first half, yet they managed just 10 points. By halftime, the Sooners’ defense had accrued more offensive yards than its actual offensive squad, thanks to a pair of interceptions and a spectacular 71-yard rumbling, stumbling fumble return for a touchdown by R. Mason Thomas.
• At Cowenstan National Stadium, the spectators were amused, but unimpressed. Not one attendee felt what had transpired in the first half would be sustainable for the second.
• We weren’t expecting OU to play its best half of football this season, but we were wrong. After Tennessee scored on its opening possession of the second half, OU absolutely strangled the SEC’s best offensive attack for nearly the rest of the game. The Vols didn’t score again until fewer than two minutes remained, during which OU managed to string together enough offensive success to take control.
• OU’s defense was magnificent during that stretch of the second half, and the offense showed just enough competence to complement their cohorts. It culminated in a win that kept the Sooners’ SEC championship and the College Football Playoff hopes alive the rest of the season. Given the upcoming off week, it’ll be interesting to see how OU fares against Alabama in Tuscaloosa in two weeks.
• Meanwhile, Oklahoma State looked like a legitimate college football team for part of the first half in its 38-21 loss at Kansas. The Cowboys scored the game’s first touchdown and trailed just 10-7 at halftime.
• Kansas, however, tallied four of the next five TDs during the second half to finish OSU’s eighth loss in a row.
• I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Oklahoma State, at this point, is a special kind of bad. It’s the kind of bad that manages a single win in a season, with that victory over a school not even within the same level of competition. I wish I could say more about Saturday’s contest — sure, Zane Flores had a nice game in his return at QB, for example — but what’s the point?  There’s very little from what we see week to week on this Cowboy team pertinent for next year.
• Texas downed Vanderbilt, 34-31, for a solid win against a ranked foe. Honestly, Vandy was in a bad spot. The Commodores were coming off an emotional win last weekend with ESPN College Gameday in town. Meanwhile, Texas had not played a home game since mid-September, so the Longhorns’ fans and players were fired up to be back on the 40 Acres.
• It all played out expectedly, as Vandy sleepwalked through the first three quarters, and the Longhorns came out of the tunnel with their collective hair on fire. It culminated in a 24-3 lead a few minutes before halftime and a 34-10 advantage after three quarters. The ‘Dores managed to shake off their version of my current hangover for three-straight TDs in the final quarter, but it was a classic case of “too little, too late.”
• I really don’t think the game changes my mind about either team. I still believe Vandy is a legit College Football Playoff contender, while Texas will likely finish with four or more losses this season.
• Miami is the master of the late-season fade. It’s happened many times over the past few years, most notably last season. Now, it is happening again in 2025 after the Hurricanes were upset in overtime at SMU, 26-20. The ‘Canes came into the game better than a touchdown favorite and, to be honest, looked like the superior team. They simply couldn’t shake the hometown Mustangs in regulation because of untimely penalties and turnovers. Once the game went to overtime, it seemed fait accompli that the Mustangs would win courtesy of a Miami mistake — which they did, when ‘Canes QB Carson Pick threw a goal-line interception.
• West Virginia’s 45-32 win at Houston continued to sow doubt about the strength of the Big 12 Conference. Houston was one of the Big 12’s four ranked teams but fell to a 2-6 West Virginia squad that hadn’t won since the second week of September. It’s one thing for a conference’s BEST teams to continually beat one another, such as in the SEC. It’s an entirely different thing, however, when a cellar dweller like West Virginia topples a supposed conference contender. At this point, the goal has to be conference title or bust for any would-be playoff teams from the Big 12.
• North Texas crushed Navy, 31-17, keeping the Mean Green in the hunt for a playoff spot. Navy had a shiny 7-0 record going into Saturday, yet the truth is the Midshipmen’s best win was against … Temple?
• The American Athletic Conference will likely provide the mid-major representative in this year’s College Football Playoff. Who will it be, though? Navy’s loss has created a six-team logjam of schools with just one conference loss. I think South Florida and Memphis are the two best squads I have personally witnessed, but neither has shown the consistency to be anointed as “favorites.” Keep an eye on this under-the-radar race with real ramifications for the playoffs.
• The joke of the college football season thus far has been Bill Belichick’s disastrous return to coaching at North Carolina. There’s been good reason for the chuckles, as the Tar Heels have looked impotent for much of the season, sparking many a think-piece on Belichick’s demise.
• Don’t look now, though, but Belichick has his North Carolina team playing competent ball. A 27-10 win over Syracuse on Friday night culminated a stretch where the Tar Heels had lost back-to-back games by just a combined four points.
• North Carolina is woefully low on talent, which is a direct reflection on its legendary coach. Also a reflection, however, is when a team improves dramatically over the course of a season.
• Oh yes, let’s finish our Hangover Highlights with the school, and coach, that started the entire diatribe of this edition. Nebraska was tripped 21-17 by USC on Saturday night, in Lincoln, Nebraska.
• The Cornhuskers were up 14-6 at halftime and led early in the fourth quarter, but they could not corral a win over a ranked USC team. Not that anyone should be surprised, I guess. When Nebraska coach Matt Rhule does beat a ranked opponent next, it will be the first time since Dec. 3, 2016, when his Temple Owls toppled 19th-ranked Navy.
• Sounds exactly like the type of winner who should be rewarded with a multi-million-dollar contract extension, right?

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