Oh great, it’s football season!
Oh great, it’s football season.
Other than bold-face, a drop cap, and the end-of-sentence punctuation (according to Elmore Leonard, I’m now allowed approximately one more exclamation point for the next half-decade), what’s the difference between the two statements above?
Let me help: Try saying the first one all happy and exuberant in the manner of a meth-addled barn swallow. Now, say the second sentence like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
Thus, I bring you the dichotomy of how much football fans actually enjoy — or hate — football season.
I was thinking about this when I saw a sarcastic post on the platform-formerly-known-as-Twitter by one of my favorite follows, @RedDirtSport, after OU’s narrow escape against Houston last weekend.
#sooners pic.twitter.com/M6uFvkAHfo
— ran 🚀 (@x24Ever) September 8, 2024
Seen posted above by another fan for embed purposes, I thought the graphic neatly summed up many OU fans’ — and all fans’ — feelings pretty much every college football season. We sit around for what seems like an eternity between February and August awaiting our favorite team to hit the field, but then … buckle up. Be it NFL, college or even high school, we are champing at the bit during the offseason, only to cringe and wish death upon ourselves during the actual games as we hope the scoreboard clock will hit the final zeroes sooner rather than later to spare us further torment.
A good friend of mine is one of the biggest football fans I’ve ever met and looks forward to each season with glorious excitement. When the games are finally here, though, it seems he’s going through torture. Reading his posts on “X” when his favorite NFL team is playing can feel akin to witnessing a Greek tragedy play out over four acts — quarters, if you will.
He is not an outlier.
Future scientists studying our civilization will no doubt find it weird that the very thing we anticipate most also makes us desire it to be over as quickly as possible. Barring an unlikely national championship and/or playoff run from OU or OSU, it would figure many Sooner and Cowboy fans are part of the group.
Hell, even if either team DOES have a wondrous season, it will feature inevitable bumps along the way that can make fans wish they were not even watching. It’s the weird position we put ourselves in as football fans, I guess.
At this point, for example, you might wish you were already done reading this column. But, no, the torture continues! On to the Hangover Highlights for Week 3! (Sorry, Elmore.)
- OU looked spunky for most of the first half in its 34-19 win over Tulane. The Sooners scored a touchdown on their opening drive — and on three of their first five drives — to hold a 21-0 advantage until the Green Wave mustered a score in the waning seconds before halftime (and nearly killed a Lil’ Sis with a terrible extra point).
- As it has been all season, the third quarter unfolded as a completely different story, though. The three or four yards per carry that Sooner backs were getting on those first drives turned into one or two yards in the third quarter. The offense stagnated as Tulane began sitting on the short passing game OU smartly implemented in the first half. At one point, by my own stat-keeping, the Sooners had 12 yards on 12 plays after halftime.
- With a pick-six created by leaky pass blocking and a poor decision from Jackson Arnold, Tulane pulled within five points early in the fourth quarter before the Sooners shook their third-quarter doldrums and ended up covering the two-touchdown point spread. Still, I see an offense with one good wide receiver, a quarterback as its biggest running threat, and an offensive line that simply gets zero thrust on running plays. It’s all a bad recipe with a gauntlet of a schedule that begins next weekend with No. 7 Tennessee and features the current Nos. 2, 4, 5 and 6 and 7th-ranked teams in the country — not even counting road trips to Auburn and LSU.
- One more thought on OU: I don’t get the hate heaped on Arnold and offensive coordinator Seth Littrell. Arnold is doing the best he can behind an incongruous offensive line led by a redshirt freshman center. (On OU’s first two drives of the fourth quarter, a redshirt senior transfer right tackle was called for TWO illegal formation penalties for lining up too far off the line of scrimmage.) Meanwhile, the receiving corps has been decimated by injuries and has had more than a couple of drops this year. Littrell faces identical issues. It’s the same duo who tallied 562 yards against Arizona in December with a more cohesive offensive line and wide receiver positions. Blame the injury bug and offensive line recruiting before eyeing Arnold and Littrell.
- Meanwhile, up the highway, I watched Oklahoma State’s 45-10 win against a poor Tulsa team and came away with not much to say. Playing his 17th year of college football, OSU quarterback Alan Bowman executed sharply with FIVE touchdown passes, and two receivers topped the 100-yard mark.
- But Ollie Gordon only mustering 41 rushing yards a week after being handcuffed for just 49 could raise some eyebrows. Obviously, though, Tulsa sold out against Gordon to keep him from running wild and decided to force old man Bowman to win the game. Instead of yelling at a cloud, he shredded the Golden Hurricane defense for almost 400 yards in just three quarters of action.
- Only one game on Saturday matched two ranked teams: Boston College at Missouri. Boston College came in as the surprise 2-0 team, while Missouri entered with a heaping helping of offseason buzz. At first, it looked like the upstart Eagles were going to soar, holding a 14-3 lead early in the second quarter. The Tigers, however, reeled off 24 unanswered points and held on for the win … but not without facing the comedy of a second down and 58 yards to go at one point. The Tigers didn’t convert the first down, but they did cruise to 3-0 in the young season.
- In a nail-biter, Georgia scored the game’s only touchdown in the fourth quarter to edge past Kentucky 13-12. Kentucky tried its damnedest to pull off an upset of the No.1 team in the country by scoring only field goals, but it couldn’t be done. Never doubt the ability of football coaches — especially those of the defensive mindset, such as Kentucky’s Mark Stoops — to be embarrassingly conservative when a little gusto would go a long way to turn one of those figgies into a touchdown.
- Texas State and Arizona State unleashed an entertaining-as-heck game on Thursday night when ASU prevailed 31-28. Both teams were surprisingly spirited, belying their respective statuses as a non-power conference team (TSU) and a rebuilding program (ASU). Watch both teams going forward. Texas State could nab the mid-major playoff berth this season, while Sparky could be a spoiler in the new-look Big 12.
- Last year’s Big 12 spoiler looks just … spoiled. Kansas lost its second-straight game, this time against UNLV, 23-20. UNLV does nothing flashy, but it has a quarterback who answers the question, “What happens when you put a linebacker under center?” and an overall team mentality of being tougher than old boot leather. Kansas fans, meanwhile, are experiencing what I wrote about above: a massive meltdown of on-field play leading to a woeful letdown in spirit and season enthusiasm.
- The Jayhawks’ arch-rival Kansas State Wildcats stamped themselves as one of the Big 12 favorites after a 31-7 demolition of Arizona. Kansas State looked shaky last week on the road against Tulane, escaping an upset thanks to timely turnovers. The Wildcats’ defense did force one interception from Arizona quarterback Noah Fifita, but they really didn’t need it as KSU quarterback Avery Johnson was an absolute handful.
- Wisconsin saw any upset hopes evaporate against Alabama when starting quarterback Tyler Van Dyke injured his knee on the first drive of the game. Van Dyke was able to get his team into field goal position before exiting, but the 3-0 lead became the high point of the game for the Badgers in a 42-10 drubbing. Wisconsin backup Braedyn Locke continued the never-ending lineage of mediocre Caucasian quarterbacks for the Badgers, but it was pretty much the only thing he accomplished.
- When watching LSU squeak by South Carolina 36-33, I thought back to the Tigers’ season-opening loss against USC. So many were ready to anoint the Trojans after edging LSU, but now it looks like the L.A.-based squad simply snuck by an average Tiger team. How many times will we all be fooled by Week 1 outcomes?
- Finally, speaking of fans who want torture to end, I present exhibit A: Florida State. The Seminoles, after opening with 13 straight wins last season, dropped their third straight to start this season, 20-12 to Memphis. It’s their second 0-3 start in four years, and it has absolutely put the brakes on any enjoyment for FSU fans before the season even really got started. Cue the boos, snarky signs and general displeasure from a fanbase that couldn’t wait to see its team during the heady days of summer but now only wants the final game to be played.
