special elections

Oklahomans will be gifted the chance to send some new faces to the Capitol in some upcoming special elections.

On one hand, I’m happy that garbage politicians like Dan Kirby and Tom Newell are no longer wasting time and money on bills that don’t solve any problems. On the other hand, Oklahoma often struggles to find competent people to fill legislative seats.

Speaking of wasting time and money, according to the State Election Board, the ballpark cost to hold a special election for a House seat is about $15,000 for both the primary and general, a total of $30,000. In the Senate, I was told it is between $18,500 and $20,000, for a total of, let’s say, about $40,000. And that’s just the state’s cost. It doesn’t include what counties pay. It should be noted that these costs are not budgeted, so the Election Board has to scramble to come up with that money.

In a year where every agency is facing cuts, is it really worth it?

Perhaps we should just leave those seats empty until the 2018 election. In the grand scheme of things, $40,000 can do some cool stuff. So, instead of using it to hold an election, here are some better uses of the money our state doesn’t have:

A baker’s dozen Ten Commandment altars

special elections

I’m not sure how much marble costs these days, but I’ll bet we can find someone that would give us a deal, right? I mean, trying to profit from prophets doesn’t seem like the Christian thing to do.

Conservative date night at the gun range

special elections
(Spencer Hicks)

If you’re gonna “drop” a liberal from that distance, you’re gonna need to practice.

Liberal-outrage lessons

Do you know how hard it is to be outraged by everything, but then not do anything about the thing that outraged you? I mean, thanks for the tweets, Scott.

A spa day for oil execs

special elections

Listen, they’ve earned it. Someone has to profit from our state’s natural resources that we basically give away.

A pay raise for one lucky superintendent

special elections

We’ll hold a lottery. Winner gets the money we would have otherwise spent on an election. Besides, everyone knows that it’s the school administrators that deserve the six-figure salaries, not the teachers.

Please vote

All of this was tongue-in-cheek, which is where your tongue belongs most of the time. I would encourage everyone who is eligible to vote in their district’s special elections.

I would also recommend signing up to vote absentee. It will change your life. You get your ballot a few weeks before the election, so you can do your own research. You won’t have to wait in line, and you can register for an absentee ballot online.

Please vote. (And if you want to follow me on Twitter, you can do that, too.)