Quagmire of Regrets
by James Osinachi Sunday
Locked up in a cell,
I took a long walk down memory lane,
Reminiscing how I had spent my youthful days.
Oh! What a transient journey life is,
How ephemeral the pleasures of this life can be,
It seems like it’s going to be infinite,
But suddenly vanishes like smoke,
Tastes sweeter than honey at the beginning,
But stings with a deadly venom at the end,
Each time I ruminate on the affairs of life,
I come to concur to the preacher’s assertion,
That it is nothing but “Vanity”
My heart bleeds,
At the sight of young people,
Treading the hallway to destruction,
Like I did in times past.
I can still vividly recollect,
How I sucked every nectar of pleasure,
And filled myself to ecstasy,
With lustful gratifications,
All my youthful exuberance,
I burned in satisfying fleshy desires.
Beers and parties,
Were like air to me,
Became a Lord to me.
Like the proverbial dog,
On its way to destruction,
I turned a deaf ear to every Hunter’s whistle.
I took for an enemy,
Anyone who tried to whip me,
With the rod of correction,
Like a champion,
I felt untouchable.
Birds of a feather,
They say flock together.
Though a water to my fire,
Were like Gold to me.
They were the drummer boys,
While I danced gullibly,
Into the arms of failure,
And the pit of Destruction.
Education, I saw as a trash bag,
I treated it with levity,
Not knowing it was to my own detriment,
So many things I did impulsively,
Not knowing Karma was awaiting me.
I reshaped my destiny,
I was the Architect of my misfortune and tragedy,
Now I know why they say,
“The greatest enemy of a man is himself”
All I do is hiss,
And rue the choices,
I made as a young person.
My past haunts me daily,
I now grovel,
In a quagmire of regrets.
If Only I listened to my Parents,
If Only I obeyed my good Teachers,
If Only I dedicated more time and effort to my Education,
If Only I listened to the numerous “Angels” God sent to me.
If Only I made the right use of my time,
If Only I made the right choices while I was young,
If Only I remembered my Creator in my Youthful days,
My life will not be as messy, shattered and ruined as it is Today.
How I wish I could turn back the hands of Time,
But if only wishes were horses……
A mistake I made,
Is making me spend 45 years in prison,
I have also been diagnosed,
With an incurable disease,
My bones are ailing,
My strength is faint,
Life seems hopeless,
And I have just few months to live.
While some of my mates
Are currently enjoying the good fruits,
Of the right choices,
And good things they sowed,
I also sit here,
swallowing the bitter pills,
Of the wrong choices and things I did.
I have now come to discover,
That, “Life will always serve us the fruit of whatever we sow into it
either consciously or unconsciously.”
If I ever get a chance to bud again,
I will live my life carefully,
Make the right choices,
Obey the right people,
And make the right use of my time,
But I know that can never happen.
Life has truly taught me that,
“As you lay your bed, you lie on it”
“What you will become in life will be as a result of the choices you make
or will make”.