Faith and Freedom Coalition
The donation page of the Faith and Freedom Coalition's pamphlet tells its recipient: "Thank you for doing all you can to save America for your children and grandchildren!" (NonDoc)

Holy cow. First comes, Melania Trump stumping for POTUS, asking me to pledge support for his “policies” and wanting me to send cash to prove I mean it.

Then came mail from the Democrats to promote anybody but POTUS, asking if I disagree with his “policies” and wanting me to send cash to prove I think he deserves ousting.

Now comes a seven-page pamphlet from some character named Ralph Reed, founder and chairman of the Faith and Freedom Coalition, which claims to have over 2 million “members and supporters” who are “mobilizing conservative Christians for effective political and civic action.”

The reason such mobilization is necessary is because “the left and the Democrat Party have perfected their VOTE FRAUD operation and their system to steal election after election.” And, of course, the 2018 midterm elections are proof of voter fraud.

Except that the “BIG BLUE WAVE crashed into the FAITH & FREEDOM WALL,” and conservative Christians elected a few Republican governors. The “wall” succeeded because of Reed’s organization’s “ground game,” which he wants to keep going. And the best way to make certain that it does? Well, that comes down to little ol’ me.

First, I must answer 14 questions on the “2020 Voter Registration Confirmation & Survey of 10,000,000 Christian Americans” and send my “best gift,” unless I’m broke and can’t make the $26.43 “average gift” that Christian patriots are expected to give. Or I could send $10 “to support this effort the best I can.”

Whatever I do, the results will be reported to POTUS and my Oklahoma congressman and senators. If I don’t do the right thing (no pun intended), I’ll be supporting the “anti-Christian, anti-freedom, anti-American left” which wants to “erase America’s borders, so we no longer have a country (…) to eliminate Christianity as a moral force in American life,” and to ensure that America is governed “by the United Nations, not our own Constitution.”

For some reason, I am assigned a “special identification number” so that nobody can fill out my survey but me. Phew, what a relief. I was starting to worry about a leftist-socialist Democrat getting hold of it.

14 survey questions to make you puke

That’s about all of Reed’s rambling worthy of comment, except for his signature: Fashionably illegible, it resembles two swans chased by a fishhook, or maybe Snoopy sniffing his twin brother’s rear end.

Quickly thereafter — and before the survey itself — come the endorsements of conservative Christians: Rand Paul, Sarah Palin, Sen. Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Sen. Ted Cruz, Vice President Mike Pence, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Newt Gingrich and Michele Bachmann. And POTUS himself. Be still my heart.

The 14 survey questions begin: “Did you vote for President Trump in 2016?”

What??? And deny my Christian conservatism by saying no? Or by admitting to casting my ballot for a left-wing liberal Socialist pinko commie, thereby becoming tweet-meat for the president?

The next 10 questions ask me to rate POTUS on job creation, black and Hispanic employment, appointment of conservative judges, NAFTA, tax cuts, North Korea, “crushing” ISIS, slashing federal regulations and protecting U.S. borders.

Before asking if I’m registered to vote and if I’ll “solemnly pledge right now to vote in the 2020 elections if you are physically able to do so,” I am asked this little gem: “Would you prefer to continue with the direction President Trump is taking America? Or would you rather turn the presidency over to one of the radical left Democrats?”

A ‘tipping point’ for the country

In small print at the bottom of the Faith and Freedom Coalition survey is the assertion that America sits at a “tipping point.” All of POTUS’s good work could be lost, and America could become the next Venezuela if “the wrong people (radical left) are elected to run our government.” So, for goodness sakes, send money.

I dearly wish I could get my hands on whoever put my name on these political mailing lists. The only good thing about them is that they help to keep the U.S. Postal Service in business, albeit at a reduced rate as a “non-profit” organization. That designation is pure hogwash, as is the survey. The Faith and Freedom Coalition hopes to raise $42 million with this junk, and anyone who believes it will all go to campaigns and none of it will wind up in anybody’s pockets is surely stupid enough to fill out the survey and send $26.43 to Ralph Reed.

He and all the politicos listed can go spit. My faith and my politics are my business and nobody else’s. People behind these requests for political dough may assume whatever they please. They should then take their assumptions and surveys, roll them up, and stick ’em where the sun don’t shine.

If that seems too crass for your liking, then I encourage you to mute POTUS next time he is giving a speech. And for those who constantly ask themselves “WWJD,” I believe Jesus would say the same. Remember, he threw the money changers out of the temple.