Hangover Highlights: I admit that I jinx the home team

Sunday, September 1, 2024

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COMMENTARY

I attended my first in-person college football game since 2018 this weekend.

There I was, waltzing into the University of Oklahoma’s Gaylord Family-Oklahoma Memorial Stadium on Friday, wondering what potential disaster my presence would manifest this time.

See, I have superstitions. If you followed this Hangover Highlights series last year on NonDoc, you’ll remember that the underwear fiasco from my high school days was based on nothing but irrational beliefs.

But my Friday night fear this weekend had a basis to it, I promise.

I’m not someone who attends a ton of OU football games: Back-of-the-napkin math puts the total around three dozen. But during a weirdly high percentage of those games I have attended, something dumb, painful and/or surreal has happened to my alma mater:

On Nov. 7, 1987, OU quarterback Jamelle Holieway tore his knee against Oklahoma State. While the Sooners went on to win the game, Holieway’s less dynamic backup — Charles Thompson — was unable to keep the University of Miami from swamping the OU offense in the national championship game at the end of the season.
On Oct. 16, 1993, while celebrating an OU field goal, the Sooner Schooner tipped over in a game against Colorado. Later, OU quarterback Cale Gundy was also knocked out of the game. It all culminated in the Sooners’ first loss of the season, 27-10.
On Nov. 11, 1995, OU lost to Oklahoma State, 12-0. It was the Cowboys’ first win over the Sooners since 1976. It was such a stupendously monumental event in OSU history, graduates from the university the following May received “12-0” medallions along with their diplomas.
On Nov. 7, 1998, the Sooners were embarrassed 29-0 by A&M — notable because the John Blake-led OU team was so hapless that game officials agreed to have a running clock in the fourth quarter to hasten the end.
On Sept. 7, 2002, Sooners’ quarterback Jason White blew out his knee in a home game against Alabama. Although his team went on to win the game, White’s injury left an underwhelming Nate Hybl in charge of the offense for the rest of the season.
On Dec. 6, 2003, OU was zapped 35-7 by Kansas State in the Big 12 Championship Game. It was the Sooners’ first loss of the season.
On Sept. 3, 2005, OU saw its four-year home winning streak snapped at the hands of TCU. The Sooners cycled through quarterbacks in the game like I SHOULD have cycled through underwear in 1991.
On Oct. 1, 2005, OU defeated Kansas State in a ho-hum affair. Outside the stadium, though, shortly before halftime, OU student Joel Hinrichs III detonated a bomb, killing only himself but triggering xenophobic internet rumors about a mosque in Norman, despite no evidence that he ever visited it.
On Dec. 6, 2008, OU running back Demarco Murray tore his hamstring in the Big 12 Championship. While the Sooners managed to handle Missouri easily, the loss of Murray was acutely felt a few weeks later in a national championship game loss to Florida.
On Sept. 5, 2009, Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Sam Bradford suffered a shoulder injury while OU lost to BYU in the first game ever at JerryWorld in Arlington, Texas. Bradford would return a few weeks later, but he re-injured the already-tender shoulder and ended his OU career with his arm in a sling.
On Nov. 5, 2011, record-setting OU wide receiver Ryan Broyles sustained a season-ending injury in a win over Texas A&M. Broyles was really the only serious receiving threat the Sooners had, and it showed as they lost two of their last three regular-season games.

After the Broyles debacle, I severely cut back my attendance so as not to jinx the home team. Still, despite attending only one or two games a season, the hits kept coming whenever I ventured near the confines of Owen Field:

On Sept. 17, 2016, OU was absolutely manhandled, 45-24, by Ohio State. Besides the blowout nature of the contest, the game was delayed for more than an hour when a freak severe thunderstorm wreaked havoc through campus. (Meanwhile, Joe Exotic was thrown out of a Donald Trump fundraiser down the street.)
On Sept. 22, 2018, the Sooners somehow survived a MASSIVE upset attempt by Army. Although OU managed to squeak out a 28-21 last-second victory, the three-touchdown underdog Black Knights were no-doubt happy my attendance helped them put an embarrassing scare into the Sooners.

Understanding my tale of woe, dear reader, I am sure you can understand why I wondered what wrath I hath wrought by simply setting foot inside OU’s stadium Friday. Then, in a terrible answer to my question, I saw leading receiver Jalil Farooq writhing on the field with a broken foot in the first quarter.

With a humble apology to the Sooners and my fellow faithful, let’s get to the Hangover Highlights and review what else happened during the first full weekend of the 2024 college football season:

Besides the loss of their best returning receiver, the Sooners also saw their starting center go down in a 51-3 win over Temple. Normally, the loss of an offensive lineman might draw yawns from casual followers of a football team, but the exit of SMU transfer Branson Hickman precipitated an atrocious performance by OU’s offensive line against a terrible Temple team. Miscommunication between the backup centers and their fellow linemen led to multiple free rushers throughout the game, which can spell disaster against better opponents.
About that offensive line: As I said, it was a human turnstile. Besides being porous on pass protection, there was absolutely no push in the running game. After finishing last season with five straight 100-yard rushing games, OU starting running back Gavin Sawchuk ended the game with 15 yards.
Another problem: With the loss of Farooq, OU’s outside receiver corps looked pedestrian. Brenen Thompson demonstrated new and inventive ways to avoid going upfield for a first down after a catch, and J.J. Hester appears to have avoided the evolutionary breakthrough of opposable thumbs, which at least offers an explanation for his inability to catch a football.
Not all was bad. In fact, the offensive line and outside receivers were really ALL that were negative Friday. The other skill position players on offense looked explosive and competent, and the entire defense played as well as could be expected against such a poor opponent.
Still, I can’t escape the bad vibes of watching an OU offense struggle. The Sooners failed to convert a single third down until late in the fourth quarter. OU quarterback Jackson Arnold had little time to find receivers down the field. All in all, despite a final score fluffed up by six Temple turnovers, it marked an apprehensive beginning to the season for OU, and one I fear might portend dark skies in the future.
Oklahoma State, on the other hand, did pretty much exactly what it should have against an overmatched foe in its 44-20 victory Saturday. Although South Dakota State came into the season opener as the preseason No. 1 and defending national champion at the FCS level, it still was not a fair fight. The Jackrabbits are only allowed 65 scholarships, compared to 85 for FBS-level Oklahoma State. Regardless of how spunky some FCS teams can be (see North Dakota State’s three-yard miss against Colorado), these FBS vs. FCS games should be banned sooner rather than later.
With all that said, S.D. State would probably beat Temple by no fewer than two touchdowns … if not more. Yet, the Jackrabbits were never fully in the game against OSU. I know little of FCS football and couldn’t tell you the tendencies of any of their teams, but it seemed S.D. State wanted to run the ball on Saturday, and it’s not a winning formula against a team bigger and much deeper.
While OSU’s veteran offense put up points and looked efficient enough to start the year, the defense allowed 20 points and solid stats by their FCS foe. That side of the ball will be worth watching as OSU sets its sights on a Big 12 championship — and beyond? — this season.
Meanwhile, in other notable games, Florida State was tripped up by Georgia Tech in what marked the season opener for major college football last weekend. The Seminoles had cried foul since being left out of the playoffs after a perfect 13-0 season in 2023. Since all the sturm und drang from the perceived travesty of injustice, the ‘Noles lost 63-3 in the Orange Bowl to Georgia back in January, and last weekend they fell 24-21 to the Ramblin’ Wreck. Maybe Florida State should avoid schools based within the Peach State?
By way of Clemson and Oregon State, Florida State quarterback D.J. Uiagalelei was the second-highest-rated overall recruit in the class of 2020. At 6-foot-4, 252-pounds, he’s built like a linebacker and runs like a running back. Unfortunately for the well-traveled Uiagalelei, the forward pass was invented in 1906, thus limiting his ceiling as a quarterback.
At halftime, ESPN displayed a graphic showing that Uiagalelei completed 12 of 14 passes in the first half. The problem was it was all for only 96 yards, as the average distance of a throw down the field before being caught was negative-0.1 yards. In other words, the Seminole signal caller completed most of his passes near or behind the line of scrimmage. A mad bomber he most certainly was not. Somewhere, Daryle Lamonica rolled over in his grave.
Georgia finally wore down Clemson and punished the Tigers 34-3. The game was just 6-0 at halftime thanks to a proud and resilient Clemson defense. Eventually, however, the constant Georgia pressure broke the dam. I’m not sure if Clemson could have scored a touchdown against Georgia if the Bulldogs had only played 10 men on defense.
Notre Dame nudged past Texas A&M 23-13. Neither team looked all too inspiring, with the game tied 6-6 at halftime and a last-minute field goal pushing the margin of victory to 10. Texas A&M is nearly as perennially over-ranked as the Aggies’ archrival Texas Longhorns, but still, it was a nice road win for the Fighting Irish in a loud stadium against what appeared to be a solid defense.
Smaller games of note that caught my eye included Texas Tech’s monumental struggle against Abilene Christian in a 52-51 overtime win. ACU is also an FCS school, and was only Division II when I worked as a sportswriter back at the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal from 1997-2002. Still, for all intents and purposes, the Wildcats outplayed the Red Raiders in the second half of the game, and only a missed two-point conversion in overtime kept them from pulling the giant upset.
The competition for the Sooners really doesn’t get much tougher next week. After playing maybe the worst team in FBS football in Temple, the Sooners will now prepare for maybe the worst Power 4 conference team in Houston. The Cougars were pummeled by UNLV 27-7 at home on Saturday.
The University of Miami crushed Florida 41-17 in Gainesville on Friday. Miami quarterback Cam Ward is a game-changer for a Hurricanes program that wandered through the wilderness for 20 years. As for Florida, well, they have quite the schedule ahead of them. If a person put their win total at 3.5, who would be brave enough to take the over?
Penn State handled West Virginia much easier than many people — including me — expected in a 34-12 road win. As it goes with many season openers, nobody is quite sure if it should spur celebration of the Nittany Lions or an indictment of the Mountaineers. It’s probably somewhere in the middle, but when combined with Houston’s bad loss, Texas Tech’s travails, Arizona’s weird first-half struggle with New Mexico and Cincinnati’s desultory win over Towson State, the new-look Big 12 failed to leave the cleanest of first impressions.
Finally, readers of these Hangover Highlights last season may remember my unrequited man crush on New Mexico State quarterback Diego Pavia. A product of an Albuquerque high school and small-school New Mexico Military Institute, Pavia helped New Mexico State to a 10-win season last year and then transferred to Vanderbilt in the offseason. Vandy is the legendarily woebegone SEC program that has managed only 36 wins in the last 10 years.
Still, Pavia led the Commodores in passing and rushing in a 34-27 upset win Saturday over two-touchdown favored Virginia Tech. Go Diego, go!